yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Randomize
