Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
