Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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