Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Oh god it's open bar.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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