he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
