the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Just puked most of my soul out..
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
