Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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