dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Randomize
