Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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