Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
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