pedialite and red bull = repair kit
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
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