are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I need a beard to bite.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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