This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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