i'm signing you up for texting rehab
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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