Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
