tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize