her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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