i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
