I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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