that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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