I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
