porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
