you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
