I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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