I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
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