I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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