I have demons in me.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
