just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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