anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
