she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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