i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
