it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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