Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
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