sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
