We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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