I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
