He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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