She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
