I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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