Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
