So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize