A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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