i just made my gag reflex go away.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
i think i just lost a toe
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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