Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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