i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
