Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
