How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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