So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
