Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
How does one acquire holy water?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
