he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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