Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
