We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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