Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
