I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
party gras won. party gras always wins.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Brb crying the tears of my youth
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
