it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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