half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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