im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
