im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
