I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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